AS I GROW

As I grow I come a cross challenges that bring me to my nees. the force me to grow and move out of my comfort zone. at times this challenges threaten to break my spirit, but then through the storm and tribulations I get to be strong and learn to depend on God. As I grow my tears are my best friend as they are the only way to acknowledge the pain am going through. I search for ways to release me from this pain but all my effort are futile. I have learned that sometimes you have to let go, it hurts to let go of something you have loved and cherished for so long, but if am not careful I might store a corpse that needs to be buried in my heart simply because, I do not want to let go of the things that were once lively but now they are dead. Letting go is something that it is easier said than done. As I grow I now understand that I must learn to let go and let God take over. AS I GROW

HITTING BOTTOM AND HAVING NOTHING TO LOOSE

I woke this morning thinking nothing but what to eat, how I can get more credit, how I ant to sleep the whole day and what to watch on tv. Yes am over weight, lazy, bitter, tired, drowning in debt, overwhelmed by fear, panic, anxiety. yep my life is a mess I have been trying for years to change but am so comfortable living this way that change is not an option. my spiritual life is a mess I hardly pray, read the bible or go to church. as you can imagine I spend most of my day with bottom on the bed or in a chair. the reality am faced with early deat or health complications should I not change my life. will I ever change I ONLY I CAN DECIDE THAT. BUT GETTING OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE IS HARD.

Ever felt hopeless and your so depressed you can't even think straight. that's how i feel at the moment stress is part of me. I often ask myself If it will ever end. my body is in pain because of stress. I often feel like it will never end. Prayer is a foreign concept for me this days. I often blame my job, but the fact is my job has nothing to do with it. the choices I made put me here. What I need now is to make choices that will take me out of this situation. One thing I now is that six months from now I will be testifying about this.